I get by with a little help from my friends…

In our three decade friendship (1984-2014) Jan Nelson and I have consumed approximately enough sugar to fill the Grand Canyon. Hundreds, if not thousands, of Jim White’s Mother’s Apple Pies, our Hershey World Tour/Pig-A-Thon, Ice Cream, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, Oreos….you name it; we ate it. So when I stopped eating sugar after my cancer diagnosis, I was afraid it may alter the very sweet foundation of our friendship, especially with Jan coming to visit for Christmas.  Imagine how my tears flowed when she posted on facebook that she is also giving up sugar in solidarity with me.  “I’d shave my head for you if you were having chemotherapy, so I figure, why not give up sugar for you?”  How dreary my life and world would be without friends like Jan and all of you….How would I ever get through something like this?

There is something that is so precious about friends for the whole journey.  Friends who knew us as kids, young adults, middle-agers….well, let’s just stop there.  But along our life path, it is also lovely to encounter new friends as well.  I decided to pursue my treatment at Roswell Park Cancer Institute in Buffalo, one of the premiere cancer research facilities in the world.  And so it was recently that I found myself sitting on an examining table on a Friday morning, in my underwear….nervous….a little cold…and a lot wishing I were anywhere else.  I knew I would be seeing several more doctors that day.  How do I put this delicately?….This whole ordeal has meant becoming intimately acquainted with a lot of doctors.  Let’s just leave it at that, shall we? But before the procession of doctors began, a tall, smiling African-American gentleman strode into the room, greeting me very warmly and said, “I’m not here to examine you, to sell you anything, to convince you of anything.  You are going to meet lots of people today concerned about your medical needs.  I’m here to check on how the rest of you is doing.”  He introduced himself as a patient advocate and he told me that he himself is a survivor of prostate cancer, and that my doctor (Dr. Guru!) is also his own doctor.  He told me about his journey, gave me his email and phone number and told me to call him anytime and for any reason. He told me about prostate support groups that meet in Western NY, and then he put his hand on my shoulder and looked into my eyes and told me I was going to be OK.  From that moment to this, I have felt almost no anxiety about my surgery, my cancer, or my situation.  What a marvelous position and how well suited he is for it!

So whether you are a recent friend, or like Jan, have been putting up with me for decades, I cherish you and am so grateful for all of your support, concern, cards, prayers, and love.  All of the anxiety I had been feeling about this has abated.  Some days pass by now and I barely even think about it. I can only attribute it to all of the love and prayers from my loved ones. Everyone at the Academy has been so wonderful and supportive. One day last week after class, Bernice & Nonye--two lovely new students from Nigeria--came up and said “We just want to tell you, Dr. Nick, that we love you and are praying for you!”

I took a brief break from my rigorous anti-cancer diet to enjoy Thanksgiving day with my family, but now am back on the straight and narrow.  My mom sent me Max Lucado’s book You’ll Get Through This and I have started to read it over the break.  His mantra for the book is “You’ll get through this.  IT won’t be painless. It won’t be quick. But God will use this mess for good.  In the meantime don’t be foolish or naïve. But don’t despair either. With God’s help you will get through this.” Thanks to all of you that are indeed "getting me through this."